Job Update

While I still haven’t heard anything about the job I mentioned before, I did apply for another one a few days ago and they already got back to me, tested me and offered me some work.

However, I am not quite sure what to expect. I don’t really like the method of communication and am not sure about the payments and keeping track of the assignments.

They told me they pay over PayPal but I’m still highly suspicious. I’ll try it this week and then we’ll see. Maybe I won’t even have enough time because of the proofreading job.


Another Job Application

Woman types on keyboard

I have written before about my job applications and how they went. And today, I applied for something else.

I have been working as a proofreader for about six months now, and I’m not unsatisfied with the job itself. The problem is the low salary. As I am working only part-time, the paycheck varies every month. The most I got so far was about 170 Euros, but some months, it’s not even a hundred.

For a part-time job, it’s not bad, I guess. I have no previous experience to compare it to, but it is literally just a side income if you have a regular job. I do not, however.

I get paid one Euro for every text I revise. It would not be a problem if I spent three hours on it daily, and had time to do something else, but some texts are so badly-written that I end up spending more than eight hours on it. And that does not pay off.

I talked to a friend, who is a content writer for the same company, and it turns out that she earns over 500 Euros a month, for five hours of work per day.

So, I found an agency looking for a content writer and applied. Writing the cover letter was a bit tricky, and it feels a bit strange applying for a competitor, but I don’t think that my current employer would let me switch jobs.

I’m not really confident in my writing skills because I feel like I cannot really write a lot about a certain subject. I also think that might be difficult to write about the same topics in 20 different ways in 20 different texts, but I feel like I have to try and put myself out there in order to earn more.

They asked if we had any experience or if we have a blog, but I feel like this is too personal to include. And I do not consider this type of writing creative writing, and I’m pretty sure I suck at this, too. This is just a way for me to collect my thoughts and actually avoid talking to people about it.

After thinking it over for a couple of days, I finally applied a couple of minutes ago, and I’m kinda panicking right now, but it will go away. Not really sure what to expect or whether I’ll get any feedback, but at least I tried, right?



It’s my birthday today.

I’m not one for celebrations. We usually just have our family over for lunch or dinner, and that one friend that I still keep in touch with from high school (the one from the Greece story).

They always get sentimental and try to talk about when I was born or a toddler. That really annoys me, because even though I pretend to be all cold and not care, these stories make me cry for some reason. (I’m assuming it’s the depression.)

This year, however, I decided to go back to my Uni city, and spend time with some other friends. We’ll go see a ballet in the evening.

I do have some other obligations there, as well. I have to go deal with some stuff at Uni on Friday and we have a work thing on Saturday.

Not sure why, but I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept twisting and turning, and just overthinking everything, even though there’s nothing to overthink. I was awake until at least 3.

I kinda wanted to squeeze in a hair salon visit while I’m there. That was where I first dyed my hair blond, and I kept it up back home, even went for greyish, but I think that my regular hairdresser can’t actually do what I’m asking. My colour now is a mix or grey and kinda dark gold or something and I hate it. I just want it to be all grey. But that means I have to contact that person soon if I want an appointment tomorrow. I hate talking to people. Plus, if I wash my hair today, will the dye work tomorrow?

Also, today I’m travelling by some new bus and that also makes me kinda nervous.

I woke up really nauseous, but I do feel that just writing it out here kinda helps. Not completely over it, but it’s better than keeping it all inside.

Might be full of mistakes, but not really going to edit it. I’m still in bed and should probably get up.

The picture is really ironic, is it not?

My Trip to Greece, Part 5

I am probably going to rush through this, but I need to finish it.

The day after the storm, it was still kinda drizzling and it was much colder. We stayed in in the morning, but around noon it was kinda better, so we went out. We went to get some souvenirs. I didn’t want just magnets, ’cause, honestly, they weren’t anything special. I got some ashtrays, a candle holder and a figurine of a lighthouse.

Then we went to eat, and I decided to try gyros but I hate onions and sauces. I thought that maybe I could get just the meat and the fries, but unfortunately no, ’cause they ordered it wrapped and not on the plate. So I just ate some meat and fries that weren’t touched by the sauce.

Later, she went out swimming and decide to go out that night, ‘to celebrate the last day’. I didn’t feel like it, and stayed in the room and packed my suitcase. I heard them come back around one, I think, but they just got some clothes and went back out.

On Thursday, we had to leave the room by nine. So we got up before eight, got ready, packed what we had left, cleaned the room a bit, and then we left. The thing is, we weren’t leaving until at least half past four.

So we went to the store, got what we needed for the ride home and then went to the beach. Those friends came by again, I kinda talked to them. I do feel like they just kept making fun of me, because I just sat there, didn’t go into the water, or to parties. I don’t care, it’s my life, I’ll do what I want, but it still uncomfortable to just sit there and feel them judging you.

Around two, we had to go transport out luggage to the bus, we got some more food (this I actually enjoyed – some cheese type of dough) and waited for the bus. We left around four. I instantly felt uncomfortable and I took a pill. And then the guys that we’re sitting next to us started talking to my friend and teasing her. We were laughing for ten minutes straight, which didn’t help with the nausea – it made it worse. Also, I don’t like talking to strangers on trains, buses, whatever, it makes me uncomfortable and I think about the sickness even more, not sure why that it.

That was for about 40 minutes, but they calmed down after a bit, thankfully. We had a ferry ride, for about an hour. It first made me feel even worse, but then I calmed down completely. I finally felt ready for the rest of the trip.

The bus broke down.

Yes, while it was exiting the ferry, something went wrong. I really thought my anxiety was going to do me in. We had to wait for an hour or more to get it fixed. However, I felt nothing. It was like, ‘okay, this is happening.’ And I’m glad I didn’t panic, I don’t know if I would have been able to calm down.

I’m just thankful that it happened while there was practically no one on the bus. I don’t even want to imagine what could have happened to a full bus on the road.

Somehow, they got it fixed in under half an hour and we were off again.

The guy sitting next to me wanted to talk to my friend, so we switched places, and I got to sit next to the window. That calmed me down instantly, even though I did take another pill when we got on the bus after the break.

I was trying to sleep, but they kept talking. Nature outside was enough to keep me occupied.

Soon after, we reached the border, then we had a break. I think I slept for at least two hours, but when I woke up, I was so cold. The AC was too strong and there was no way for me to turn it down. I had some light pants on, and I couldn’t get myself warm. Plus, I started getting leg cramps. It was awful. I can’t move, I’m trying to warm myself up, and I’m super sleepy. And every time, as I start falling asleep again, my legs twitch and a new cycle begins.

Thankfully, we reached our border, so we got out, it was also cold outside, but at least I could stretch a bit. We had a longer break. When we came back, I took a sleeping pill. I slept from around 2.40 to around six in the morning. I was still cold and twitchy, but much less, so it was okay. Plus, the guy next to me traded places with some girl, so it was nice and quiet.

It was kind of weird that me and my friend were separated during most of the ride, but I actually think that was a good thing.

That’s it, we got back around half past seven. They had a brother pick them up to take them home. I decided not to go home right away, and stayed with some friends until Sunday.

I feel like I should summarise, so here:

  • I do not regret it.
  • It was an experience.
  • There were good things, like Athens, and me kinda not panicking over everything.
  • Some bad things, like not agreeing on things.
  • I think she understands now, to some extent, that I am not the person to call next time.
  • I know it’s my depression that’s keeping me away from most things.
  • I will keep saving money to travel with some other friends, maybe visit Scandinavia.

i will probably come back and edit this, but i’m too tired now, just felt like it needed an ending

My Trip to Greece, Part 4

I know I’m late again, but I returned home later than expected and had plenty of work right away so I didn’t get a chance to write.

Anyway, back to the story.

They had such a good time on Saturday that they decided to go on another trip on Sunday. They were gone for most of the day and then the cousin returned around six without her. She decided to stay on the beach after their trip. She came back after eight.

Around ten she proclaimed that we’re going for a walk or drink or something; you never know with her.

I haven’t had dinner yet and I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. I really hate last-minute plans. Had she told me at eight, I would have prepared mentally and would have had no problems with it.

I said no, and around 10:30, 11 went to bed. She got super annoyed and started yelling how I never want to do anything and go anywhere. How I always have to ruin her plans and be contrary. They kept talking very loudly even though they saw me trying to sleep. Their phones were going off again. They still planned on going but then she gave up.

On Monday, I got up and was waiting for her to get ready so that I could get ready. I took my swimming suit and was about to change when she asked him specifically if he wants to go to the beach. And then on their way out, he asked if I was going. “Well, I wasn’t invited this time.”

I really couldn’t care less about the beach. I had more fun in the room anyway. I had a book, internet, crossword puzzles and it was not super hot. I only didn’t want us to have a stupid fight and not talk till the end of the vacation.

However, we did start talking again. She asked if I wanted to go out with the friends we met from back home and I said yes.

The problem with saying yes is that you soon come to regret it. She spent some time getting ready and then I went to the bathroom and thought she’ll be almost ready when I came out. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I was finished; she was still drying her hair, trying to change her Facebook photo, she was not dressed, no make-up. I can’t say I wasn’t used to it. But it’s very annoying when you are just sitting there, ready to go, and then you have to wait for another FORTY minutes.

We went, stayed for about two hours and got home. I felt like it was getting better again, we weren’t arguing, it was good.

On Tuesday, they expected a big storm. We went to the beach, and we were there almost the entire day, got back around six or seven. The wind was awful, it was very cold, but you just can’t stop her. She went back for a while.

She even planned to go for a walk in the evening. She got mad again when I said no, even though there was a storm coming.

It was raining, the wind was very violent, and there was thunder and lightning. And the cousin closed the terrace door and there was no air inside and it was super hot.

I went to bed, and tried to sleep but they just kept talking and talking, phones AGAIN and they were eating very loudly. She kept hitting the bed with her fist. Every time I was close to falling asleep, she would do it and just wake me up again. That went on for about an hour, but I didn’t want to sit up, or even talk to them (just out of spite). I heard them talking about me and wondering how I could sleep so much. (Depression, it does wonders!) (Also, pretending to sleep helps me avoid talking to you.)

She went to the bathroom, and without the constant hitting of the mattress, I finally fell asleep.

The last few days and the trip back will be up soon, hopefully until the end of the week.

My Trip to Greece, Part 3

Athens – part three.

I got up surprisingly easy on Saturday, got ready, made some food that I ended up throwing away and went to the bus.

As I was the only one travelling alone, I was put in the very back, but I thankfully managed to get a window seat.

The person next to me took an anti-nausea pill and so did I. I usually am not sick but I take them out of precaution.

Actually, the only time I get sick is when I’m thinking about something else that upset me, or when someone sitting close to me is sick.

So I kept looking out the window, or keeping my eyes closed, but I felt her constantly moving and trying to calm down. At one moment, she got up and went to the guide. Soon we were stopping so she could throw up and later, we stopped again and she and her sister got off the bus.

My stomach was a mess after that, but I managed to use the toilet at the next stop and felt better immediately.

We stopped at a church. I am not particularly invested in the proceedings inside, but I do enjoy the architecture and how it looks.

We had a bit more to go, we saw a place where ‘the sea acts like a river’ and got on a highway to Athens.

There we went on a bus tour and saw some sights I didn’t get a chance to take a photo of. We went to the Acropolis and the Museum but didn’t go inside and just looked at it from a distance.

That was around 1:30 and then we had until 5 to roam and look around.

That sounds great until you realise that you have no one to talk to the entire day.

Anyway, I was planning to go get some food with the tour guide, but when I got inside the restaurant, all of the smells hit me at once and I realised that I had no idea what I can order, so I bailed. There goes that anxiety and picky eating thing again.

We got some awful maps and I started walking. I bought some fridge magnets, and then I started looking around. I went along one street and until the end until I found the square where we were supposed to meet.

I decide to go for another round and walk along the parallel street. The thing is that I was looking for the McDonald’s and I missed the street. So I kept walking and walking and I found myself at the farmer’s market and then on a completely new square, and I couldn’t find any of it on the map.

I wasn’t looking far enough on the map because I was sure there was no way I got that far. And then after I walked up and down that street for two and a half times, I asked someone where I was, and when they showed me that I was on a street that was very prominently marked on the map, I felt like an idiot that just kept walking in circles.

The first time, I started walking in the right direction but convinced myself that that was the wrong way.

Anyway, the kind people explained to me how I can get where I needed to go.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t scared at all, but I kept thinking how will they find me if I miss the bus, because I don’t know anyone on the bus and the guide doesn’t have my number. And it was nearing 4 o’clock.

I went where they told me to go, and realised that McDonald’s was the reason for my troubles. I still went in, ’cause I was super hungry and I knew what to order.

I managed to get to the Parliament for the change of the guards, and got on the bus at a quarter to 5.

We drove for a while, got on a ferry for about 50 minutes, and drove for another 30, 40 minutes.

I realised that I didn’t miss the people I came with at all. I was alone, but it felt so relaxing. I wished some other friends could have been there, but hey.

Those two went on their trip, I talked about it more with the cousin than with my friend.

All in all, I am very glad I went. I thought there will be more to see but I don’t regret anything. I probably won’t get another chance to go there and I’m glad I took it. Perhaps, it was badly planned. We mostly had to look at things from the bus or a distance. And maybe if I had some company, it would have been even better.
Something tells me this will have five parts in total, not sure when I’ll have the time to write and post them, but they are coming.

Also, I am very aware of how awful I sound. It seems ungrateful because I’m basically here for free and I’m constantly complaining. But I’m realising that I really do not enjoy spending that much time in the sun and it just tires me out so much. Also, depression is probably causing me to always say no and stay inside.

Part 4 which includes a semi-fight from Sunday/Monday and Part 5 which will include (hopefully) the return will be up by Sunday most definitely.

My Trip to Greece, Part 2

Turns out that the bus doesn’t leave from our town, but from another that is an hour and a half away by car. Ok, fine.

My friend’s cousin said that he has a ride organised and everything planned. He’ll let us know the exact time we’re supposed to meet and leave. Ok, fine.

He was 15 minutes late to our meeting about the trip, my friend is regularly late for everything. I like to get everywhere on time, or like 5 minutes early.

His ride is picking him up at 9, that’s when I should be at my friend’s and they’ll come and get us. Yeah, sure.

I expected everyone involved to be late, so I went there at 9:10. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t dressed and her suitcase wasn’t packed.

I hate how obsessed she gets with her dog. She couldn’t control it whatsoever. It kept jumping on me and my things. And she just stood there and laughed instead of letting me go inside.

She forgot to pack a beach towel. She couldn’t decide on which book to bring along. It was a mess.

I literally went inside and cried for about 30 seconds just to let it all out and then pretended everything was alright.

Right, the cousin arrived at a quarter to 10 and we left at 10. The ride was not that bad, but I was kind of worried because I didn’t know the driver. She kept sleeping on my shoulder while the cousin kept talking and talking.

He apparently hates people who don’t talk a lot. Which is exactly what I am. I thoroughly enjoy the silence and am not uncomfortable with it.

He kept talking and talking about the most random things that I couldn’t care less about.

When we got to the city, the driver said he wasn’t sure where he was supposed to go, and the cousin said he’ll tell him when to turn and where to go.

After a while I realised we were going in the wrong direction, and then we basically made a circle around the city and finally got to our destination. If I hadn’t told them, the cousin wouldn’t have said anything. We lost 20 minutes just driving around.

Anyway, we were told to be there at 12:30, we made it at 12 and the bus left at 1.

My biggest concern was the bathroom. I have a very easily irritated stomach especially when travelling because my anxiety just can’t stop annoying me. I either have diarrhoea or nausea. By the time we left, I’ve been to the toilet three times.

The bus ride was honestly really good. I didn’t have to take those pills against nausea, and everything was good. We had breaks every couple of hours and I went to the toilet every time, just to be safe.

The borders also didn’t take long and we arrived in Greece just before nine in the morning. The problem was that we couldn’t get into our room until at least 1.

So we went walking and exploring a bit, tired and exhausted. We ordered drinks (a Sprite is not a Sprite apparently). Somehow we made it until 1 and got the room.

I have to say, I was surprised. I heard all kinds of stories, but the people were really nice and the room was decent. We have a TV, an AC unit, a nice bathroom, a stove and fridge. And a nice terrace.

We ate and after a lot of rest, went walking on the beach and sat for a while.

I was so tired, I think I could have slept for two days straight. But of course, my friend would not allow it.

On Wednesday, we had a meeting with the tour guide, he informed us of all the one-day trips and I decided to go to Athens. My friend and her cousin would rather go visit other beaches. We couldn’t agree on anything we could do together, so I decided not to wait for them. I was going to Athens.

I swam for a bit on Wednesday, but like I said before, I don’t particularly enjoy it so that was that, simply to please her.

On Thursday, she got her period. Yes, I am not joking. She couldn’t swim anymore and tried to live through me, but of course, to no avail. I am not going to swim alone. You are the only reason I came here in the first place. And now I’m burning in the sun and you can’t even enjoy it.

I went to the beach with her in the morning and we just sat there, and the cousin went in the afternoon.

We also met a friend from high school and her boyfriend. They just happened to also come to this place. So she found someone else to annoy. There was a party that night and, thankfully, I didn’t have to go.

Friday was kind of weird. We slept until noon or so. Actually, she slept because she came back at 3:20. We went to the store and sunbathing in the afternoon/evening. We watched the sun set and then I went to bed and they went for a walk.

Even though I had to get uo at 5:20 to get ready for Athens, they didn’t even try to be quiet when they got back. They kept talking, their phones were going off, I was really pissed. My phone is always on silent, and you can’t even turn off the light when I’m trying to sleep.

This got way too long, so I’m moving Athens to the next part.
Also, I am aware that this is mostly me complaining about how they’re annoying and I’m not enjoying my holiday.